Long dark teatime of the soul
It's been raining solidly all day. Normally I love the rain but today I took no joy in it; my only thought was how to avoid getting wet while dipping out for my regular bursts of nicotine. Very unlike me.
I think my mind is playing tricks on me. In so many ways, I've never been happier, and never had reason to be happier. In one month I'll be marrying my soulmate, who I love completely. My house is in the process of being repainted, and refurnished, and general revamped into a glorious technicolor pleasure palace with every mod con my heart could ever desire. Meanwhile my finances continue in the ascendancy, despite my Luton incompetence (25% of Action Dave got me out of it, nice one son). All is rosy in the garden of Miros.
So why do I wake up every now and then, and feel a sudden and inexplicable sense of gloom? Why do I sit in these poxy plo games on Stars, and feel nothing but ambivalence about whether I win or lose? I can't even find the motivation to negotiate the 5-minute walk to get the Racing Post. The other day I slept for seventeen hours straight. Seventeen!!! What the hell's wrong with me?
I blame it all on Luton. Going to that dreadful hellhole four times in one week was more than I could bear. It was ok most of the time, when playing or eating the buffet or grabbing a swift g+t, but then there were things which reminded me just why I hate people, and why I sometimes hate poker, and why I really hate Luton. Luton was a timely reminder of just what FUCKING ARSEHOLES people can be. I heard some guy slow-rolled someone for 8 MINUTES with quads. That's just not right. Lucky for him I wasn't at the table myself, I think I'd have belted him one on general principle. In another incident, I knocked some little twerp out of the omaha with a perfectly reasonable move, where I was basically 45/55 and sucked out on his top set. He went berserk. What right does he have to stand there criticising my play, calling me a wanker, right to my fucking face? What is WRONG with these cunts? Get some perspective!
Well, bollocks to it all. I'm sick of having to be in the same room as these people, I'm sick of pointless 'when to pass aces' debates on forums, I'm sick of this game and the selfish know-it-alls who dare to even share my oxygen. I'm going to find something useful to do with my spare time that might actually seem productive or helpful and not just a waste of time and effort like most of this futile nonsense.
Ok, that's enough. I can see the nurse coming and she doesn't look pleased. I'd better pretend to be having a fit.
posted by Lord Miros @ 12:31 AM
4 Comments:
Have a cup of tea mate you'll be alright :-)
Basically I don't think we're cut out to be happy all the time. Genetics or evolution or something. So if we've actually got nothing to be unhappy about, then every now and then we slide into a minor funk of depression for no reason at all. Philosophical eh ?
I try to remember that other people being cunts is their problem, not mine, hard as it is sometimes. People who do these things [8 minute quads slowroll] are like that Palace fan who baited Eric Cantona. They think their target can't do anything about it. What they forget is that we can do anything we like in this world if we don't care about the consequences. Cantona didn't and nor might I, I mean how much of a loss would it be to be barred from Luton ? Someone's going to get their teeth knocked out soon enough, the sooner the better quite frankly.
Andy.
As one of mates memorably once said. "Unless otherwise stated I think everyone is a cunt." He wasn't far wrong.
Can you send me an email bollock brain? I've misplaced your address.
Bill,
Perhaps surprisingly to you, you do manage to bring a lot of happiness into many peoples' lives. I just had a friend tell me your's was "quite literally the funniest blog on record"...I hope you like being thought of in that way!
Maybe you should stop listening to Leonard Cohen while watching Taxi Driver and instead re-read Good Omens (or any Pratchett novel for that matter)?
Still, maybe your blog wouldn't be that interesting then...
Hope you have a great wedding and enjoy a poker-free honeymoon.
Thanks Lloyd, I appreciate the sentiment. The honeymoon won't quite be poker-free as Alice is even sicker than me and seems to think she can beat me heads-up. She'll be alright.
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