Genocidal tendencies

Apologies for not updating for a while. It's been a very busy time at Miros Manor, what with subscribing to NASN, and the advent of exchange poker on Betfair, not to mention all these crazy festivals which are nearly attracting my attention. I did well to dodge the Vic this week (they have a dice table), but for some reason I can't resist the lure of Bedfordshire's Finest, so a week of long drives up the M1 and frenzied tournament spunking awaits.

About a week ago, I had a big shot at the 190k prize in the 500 on Stars, only to suffer a heart-wrenching beat which sent me spinning out in 25th. The howl of despair emanating from Banbury Close shook birds from their perch as far away as Amersham, and apparently caused two German Shepherds to eviscerate their innocently sleeping owner. Somewhat predictably, I woke up the next day in a foul and murderous mood. Fortunately I wasn't quite psychotic enough to spit-roast my two darling guinea pigs (Devon and Derek), but it was damn close. Their time will come.

Before long I spied a suitable vehicle on which to take out my frustrations - an ant's nest, or rather two separate nests, which had suddenly sprung up overnight on my newly-acquired lawn. The cheek of the bastards. I found it curious to note that one was a nest of black ants, while the other, not 18 inches away, was colonised by their rather more vicious red cousins. I whiled away a few happy minutes prodding the two camps towards each other, hoping for some running battles, but ants aren't very obliging at the best of times and I soon grew bored of their antics (no pun intended). It was time for some serious ethnic cleansing.

After kicking the mounds about a bit, which really pissed them off, I gave them a good long squirt with the hose, just for fun. They weren't impressed, but they also weren't dead. Hardy little buggers. Not to worry, the kettle only takes a minute to boil. Three sorties later, the grass was well and truly steaming, and the ants were well and truly fucked. They won't be doing that again in a hurry.

Well, just goes to show how little I know. Within one day the durable blighters were back, rebuilding their mound, replanting their larvae, and generally making a nuisance of themselves all over again. Oh, and the grass had died. Apparently it doesn't like boiling water as much as ants do. Bah.

Anyway, I decided to leave them to it. I'm not a heartless man deep down, and they'd come through a helluva lot, only to pick themselves back up again and get on with it. If only people were like that, the world would be a better place. But that's enough two-bit philosophy for one day.

Oh, and of course I wasn't feeling quite so bloodthirsty any more, having won another $10 comp on Stars, for $6300. I guess karma isn't that fussed about ants.