Youthful fantasies

The bullshit that people come out with at the poker table never ceases to amuse me. Once, in a completely silent cash game on Stars, one of the combatants suddenly came out with the immortal line: "yeah, she had HUUUGE breasts, and she loved me sucking them." This was swiftly followed by: "oops sorry, wrong table."

Ever the cynic, I took it upon myself to investigate, and discovered through the technological wizardry of the Search feature that our friend was, of course, nowhere else to be seen. Which made him appear really rather sad. Upon confronting him with this irrefutable evidence, I was met with stony silence. Quelle surprise.

Further hilarity ensued just this evening, when I witnessed the following exchange in a $10 rebuy comp:

NoLimitProPP: Man, I love these tournaments. So much value.
idareyouAA: I hear you dude
NoLimitProPP: I've won this tournament like, 5 times this year
idareyouAA: Wow, 5k for 1st, pretty cool
NoLimitProPP: Yeah, this site rocks, so many bad players
idareyouAA: You ever won TLB?
NoLimitProPP: Nah, I play too much on Paradise, I like bigger comps on here tho
idareyouAA: You ever won the 100k on Sunday?
NoLimitProPP: 4th my best, not too shabby
idareyouAA: Cool.

After some rather dubious play from our masterful hero, he manages to spunk his large stack in one hand with Ace-high (to yours truly). The break begins straight away and his bum chum reminds him to take the add-on.

NoLimitProPP: Hey man, can you meet me on table Bollockov?
idareyouAA: Sure, why?
NoLimitProPP: I need you to dump $2 to me. I've only got $8.95 in my account.

Priceless!